My mother-in-law and I worked out together this morning. While I normally am energized after exercising, today was different. I felt happier than I have in quite a while. Why? Because for the first time in a long time I found myself in the position of “expert consultant.”
Our first semester at Denver Seminary, Ben and I participated in one of those “career match” inventories and met with a consultant afterwards. They don’t actually tell you what your future job should be, but they can point out strengths and weaknesses. What is the role in which I thrive? Expert consultant. That means that I thrive in situations where I can share my specialized knowledge and experience and help others.
Now the idea that I am actually qualified to be personal trainer is pretty far-fetched. I’m just more familiar with the exercise dvds than my mother-in-law is. But, the point is, I was able to explain and help her become comfortable with a series of movements. I can see why a friend of mine from college who is a personal trainer says that he can’t wait to go to work everyday. It isn’t just the exercise (though being healthy is great!) – it’s the experience of encouraging and helping someone.
Living in Madrid for the past 5 months has not offered a lot of opportunity for me to be an expert consultant. I think I’ve been able to direct someone on the street twice, and it felt fantastic each time! But, that’s been about it. Living cross-culturally is really difficult. I am a learner in things that I’ve taken for granted for years: communication, driving, making friends. As a person who likes to have all the information, it is humbling to day after day ask for help, feel helpless, or at least feel like an outsider.
Besides the cross-cultural piece, I am still learning what it means to be a mom. However, at times I am currently the expert consultant for knowing when Andy is tired or thirsty or hungry…but even then sometimes I’m wrong!
So, on the one hand, this reminds me of a talk I once heard about “filling your bucket.” The point is that each of us should know the things that “fill us up” – meaning, those things that give us energy, make us enjoy life, give us joy. We should also be aware of the things that “empty our bucket” – meaning those things that take our energy, make us weary.
For example, as I stated above, being an expert consultant “fills my bucket.” Being the person that needs help “empties my bucket,” and I think it does for most people.
On the other hand, I am pondering Jesus’ words in Mark 9:35, after the disciples had been arguing about who was the greatest: Anyone who wants to be first must be last, and must be the servant of all. In addition, Jesus’ example as he washed his disciples’ feet: John 13:12-17.
To say Jesus was an expert consultant just falls short; he is God. He is the expert in everything. Yet, his time on earth was humbling. He was an outsider. He wasn’t in need of help per say, but he certainly wasn’t in the business of coming to earth because it was personally fulfilling. And on today of all days, Good Friday, I can say with certainty that Jesus’ self-sacrifice on the cross was the most profound “self-emptying” action in history. And we are called to imitate him, being a servant to all.
This topic is very complex, and I could go down the rabbit trails of some people’s buckets being filled by serving, or how we should seek out those occupations or volunteer activities that fill our buckets because that’s a healthy and God-honoring practice…but I don’t want to.
I want sit for a bit in the tension of God creating us individually and uniquely, setting in our hearts certain passions and abilities that give us life and joy (the Chariots of Fire “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure”)…and God asking us to be the servant of all.
2 comments:
You have a real gift for putting words on paper and making them come to life. Good that Carol is there with you, and I know this touched her heart also. I think I could feel your tears (and maybe I am presumptive)and these "revelations" were made real to you. THanks for the post! Jan S.
You are so articulate and thoughtful -- and a good work-out coach.
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